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"Don't aim for skinny. Aim for strong, healthy and happy."

Growing up I was the most happy, active and healthy child.
I always ate until I was completely full. Literally. 
As a 15 year old girl, I still had my big appetite but had quit all of my sports.
I noticed how I gained weight, and I didn't like it at all. 

To be one of those perfect girls...
One of those girls who drank Coca-Cola, ate candy, just seemed so carefree and still looked perfect. Like naturally skinny and perfect.

How did they do that?
I started to look for answers on the internet but it was such a mess.
My 15-year old self had a hard time figuring out what was correct and what wasn’t.
And those girls magazines... “How to get a flat tummy in 2 weeks”
– Now I hate those headlines more than anything.
But back then I read all that, I tried to understand.

"Why couldn’t I be small and skinny like all other girls?"

One thing was certain (I thought), to lose weight you need to cut down on calories.
And so it began, as a still growing young healthy girl, I started to count calories.

This could only go downhill, and it did.

I created this complicated relationship towards food, trying to always go for the low-calorie, low-fat alternative. I created this heavy burden and feeling of that I wasn’t “pretty enough”.

Starting to count calories made me gain weight.

I got over-weight and more uncomfortable in my own body than ever, always trying to wear long dresses and other clothing that would cover me up, trying on jeans in the dressing room became a nightmare and walking around on the beach in only a bikini was something I simply just didn’t do.
Summers became my least favorite season. 
Swedish people live for the summer. But not me, I wanted winter and black clothes...

Until one day in September 2012, when I made a final decision:

“Next summer, I will be skinny.”

This promise to myself became more important than anything. More important than studies, friends and hunger. I had realized that I wasn’t LIVING my life. I was done hiding. I wanted to reach my FULL potential. Once and for all I wanted to be one of those carefree girls with a perfect body. This became my fuel.
And once again I was on the beginning on a self-destructive path.

Calorie counting never works long term because hunger will always win.

I kept that promise to myself. I got skinny. The skinniest I had ever been.
But I also got bulimia.

I guess I’ve never really treated myself with the respect and love I deserved. But Bulimia is probably the worst self-destructive thing I could ever do to myself. At the time it was the perfect solution. “Eat as much as I wanted and still lose weight”.
But it really did put damages on me and my body.

Our bodies are smart but fragile. We have hormones and perfect systems to control and handle hunger, stress and weight. And I messed them all up...
 
The most stressful and terrible feeling I have ever felt was one time when I had just finished a big meal and I was drinking my second big glass of milk – realizing I couldn’t feel it in my stomach. I was still as hungry as I was before my meal.

It felt like my hunger didn’t seem to have any limit and my stomach didn’t seem to have any bottom.
It was a feeling of complete loss of control.

And I was frightened, ”Have I ruined my body?”

I will never forget that feeling.

That was three years ago.
And today, I don't aim for skinny.
I aim for strong, healthy and happy.
That is how I feel, THAT is my full potential, and it's wonderful.

It has been a long journey for me to heal. And it hasn’t been too easy. Both my weight and wellbeing has fluctuated a lot. 
But in one way I am thankful.
I have learned so much. And now I can GIVE so much.

I feel that if there is one thing I am destined to do, if I have a calling... It is to HELP people.

What I'm most proud of is the Online Coach Program I offer right now, 
where I truly feel I can give people a push in the right direction.

Click here to read about the 28 Days Program

Health is my passion. Because I find the top three things that matters most in life is:
- Our loved ones.
- Our health.
- And that our loved ones will remain healthy.

Today, I still want to have a good looking body. After everything I’ve been through, I still don’t find that to be a bad goal. I think we all want to look good in bikini and feel comfortable. 
But the HUGE difference is the way I choose to reach that goal and what attitude and feeling I bring to it.

I don’t starve myself, to then binge and then feel guilty and useless anymore.

I take care of myself, nourish and challenge my body, to feel strong and ALIVE.

// Sofia Bågenholm